Puppy Diary: Week 4 with the Little Sh*thead

This puppy of mine is some piece of work. How I’m not on sedatives yet is beyond me. These are entries for Puppy Diary Week #4. God help me.

This puppy of mine is some piece of work. How I'm not on sedatives yet is beyond me. These are Puppy Diary Week 4 entries. God help me.

Oh, look. He is so darn cute, isn’t he? (Do not be fooled!)

Puppy Diary Entry #5

It’s true I had a total doggy meltdown at the beginning of the month.

I woke up at 6am to let the dog out, after having woken up at 4am to let the dog out, after having woken up at 1am…oh you see where this is going. I am sleep deprived and exhausted.

Instead of carrying the dog (as I normally do) from his crate to outside where he can do his thing, I set him down on the floor and took my eyes off of him for 10 seconds to turn off our house alarm. And then he pees.

So, I rush him outside to finish (too late) and give him some time to go #2. He wanders around in the yard, seemingly more interested in the bugs and the weeds. So I bring him back inside.

And he poops on the dining room floor.

Friends, I just sat down right there, next to the poop, and started crying. Sobbing really.

“I can’t deal with this. I’m so tired.”

And the day just went downhill from there.

This puppy of mine is some piece of work. How I'm not on sedatives yet is beyond me. These are Puppy Diary Week 4 entries. God help me.

On better days, he will poop the letter S to celebrate his alpha dog mom (me)! Not today.

Puppy Diary Entry #6

You know, the day when you wake up and meditate on peace and then decide, ‘I’m going to take some 5 minute breaks periodically throughout the day to do a peace meditation. Today is the day that I am going to stay in control and calm.’

Well, truly that was my intention today.

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti.

Then it’s mid-afternoon, and I am outside in my backyard screaming, “You Sh*thead!” at my puppy, who is digging a hole to Mexico in my backyard, eating the only good grass I have growing in the yard, and using my ankles for sharpening his teeth (probably to polish off the rest of that wooden stair he’s destroying inside the house).

So much for good intentions.

Where are Deepak and Oprah when I need them?

 

Puppy Diary Entry #7

Praise the sweet baby Jesus and St. Roch. Because my little sh*thead puppy is now sleeping through the night. I am not getting up at 2am or 4am or even 6am.

This miracle happened because I stopped clinging to all the advice touted in the puppy books, which claims that your puppy can only hold his bladder for one hour for each month of his age.

I asked my vet, “How long should he be able to go at night without a potty break?”

And she said, “He’s a big boy. He can probably go 6 to 8 hours.”

Say what now?

And just like that, he stays in his crate and sleeps all night. And mama stays in her bed and sleeps all night, too

All is well in the world. At least for the 6-8 hours that Teddy Roosevelt is sleeping.

 

(Special shout out of thanks to my BFF Chris for keeping Teddy while we went to the beach last week. You are the bomb!)

 

One thought on “Puppy Diary: Week 4 with the Little Sh*thead

  1. Elizabeth Pittman

    now that Teddy is sleeping through the night he is awfully cute and not as much of a little Sh*thead. When he digs to Mexico let me know, and tell him SAN MIGUEL, cause I want to go there without the border headache.
    I’m glad you are getting a reasonably good night’s sleep.
    xoxoxo

    Reply

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